Soul Care: Putting Myself First

by Nyesha Lashay

the world is demanding; it seems that everybody & everything wants something from you. your time, energy, attention, company, conversation, your opinion, your help, your space, your peace. eventually, if you let it, the world will take everything you have & look at you crazy when you have nothing left to give.

but I refuse to be left empty, begging the world to give me back to myself. I refuse to jeopardize my peace & happiness for the sake of others.

that’s why I recently made the decision to put myself first, always.

I call it soul care – an extended version of self-care.


for me, that means doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, how I want to do it, and with whom I want to do it. it means putting my phone on airplane mode and ignoring everybody for the day. sleeping until noon when I need sleep. declining people’s requests to go out when I don’t want to and not feeling bad about it. meditating instead of hanging out. not feeling bad about any of the decisions I make for myself. ordering myself food when I don’t feel like cooking. allowing myself to have rest days and do absolutely nothing. allowing myself to straight up say no. treating myself to nice things because I deserve it. not engaging in conversation when I don’t want to. focusing on my work. focusing on myself. ultimately, putting myself first means doing what makes me happy and not worrying about what other people think about it.


admittedly, putting myself first has been hard at times. there are days when I feel guilty about it, and I begin to question whether there is a line to be drawn between selfishness and self-careness.  ((but now that I think about it, I say no. there is no such line because to draw a line means to police someone else’s self-care practices, & i’m not here for any kind of policing, so no.))

something that I’ve had to come to terms with is that not everybody engages in soul care and that it looks different for everybody. what is peaceful & blissful for me may be a complete waste of time for someone else at best, and straight up offensive at worst. In other words:

When someone isn’t actively choosing self-love (or soul care), your expression of self love will be perceived as offensive, but it’s not.” – Brittany Josephine


I constantly have to remind myself that I cannot expect everyone to understand the choices I make for myself, and I cannot expect people to respect my decision to tend to myself when that is not something they do. from the outside looking in, people may think I’m a loner or that I’m boring, but quite frankly idgaf. I don’t have the time or energy to explain myself to everybody because not everybody is going to get it.

learning to embrace soul care as central to my being. it’s not a single act, it’s a lifestyle.

I love doing me.

do you, booboo.


For more on soul care, transitioning to a vegetarian lifestyle and conquering new goals visit Nyesha’s blog here


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